YES WE CAN!!
This slogan taps into the heart and soul of how the Law of Attraction works. The combination of “YES WE CAN!!” and “YES I CAN!!” sends a resounding message to the universe that you’re focused and committed to creating your life. Clearly, you know that your desire is your destiny, and there is no reason to wait for anyone’s approval or understanding.

This command, whether singular or plural, conveys that the truest revolutions begin within each of us. I know you’ve observed and experienced how exponentially powerful this energy becomes as you engage with others. I know you can launch your power to a whole other dimension by grounding your contagious energy in love, hope, and joy.

What becomes possible when you fully liberate that part of you that knows that YES I/WE CAN?

Of course I’ve come across a zillion ways others are fueling hope with their words. Here are a few examples that have inspired my personal YES I/WE CAN sensibility this past week. I hope you also find them uplifting. AND, I’d love to know what you are finding inspiring these days!

YES WE CAN!!
“our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared” and
“we can put (our) hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.” President Elect Obama’s Election Night Speech

YES WE CAN!!
“Through kindness, and thus, affection, honesty, truth, and justice toward everyone else, we ensure our own benefit.” His Holiness the Dalai Lama in his introduction to Kindness by Piero Ferrucci , Found on Exquisite Safari’s Global Cooling blog post

YES WE CAN!!
“Be motivated not by fear and hatred but by the “better angels of our nature,” in Abraham Lincoln’s phrase.” Rob Brezsny

YES WE CAN!!
“. . .remember that the world is wide; that there are a thousand million different human wills, opinions, ambitions, tastes, and loves; that each person has a different history, constitution, culture, character, from all the rest; that human life is the work, the play, the ceaseless action and reaction upon each other of these different atoms. Then, we should go forth into life with the smallest expectations, but with the largest patience; with a keen relish for and appreciation of everything beautiful, great, and good, but with a temper so genial that the friction of the world shall not wear upon our sensibilities.’ Mary Baker Eddy (‘Taking Offense.’ (1883-1896) Prose Works, Miscellaneous Writings, p.223.)”
Found on Sila’s Social Networking as Spiritual School blog post on Vibrant Nation

YES WE CAN!!
Foster community wide liberation for all families by increasing the visibility of LGBT families.  Families You Know
YES WE CAN!!
“Strong asking and a little allowing go a long, long, long way” Abraham-Hicks on Wall Street and economics.

YES WE CAN!!
Feel simultaneously good AND unruly

YES YOU CAN!!
Decide how you want your life to be!

I was mad and sad Wednesday when California’s Prop 8 passed. I was resolved that the other propositions would pass, but I was counting on Californians to be smarter, dammit! After a few minutes of sliding into despair, I stopped. I realized that wanting someone else to sanction me and my love was a slippery slope. I know that this yearning is a danger zone, and is completely unnatural. Of course, the ability to create the life, love, and family we desire is the most basic right available to each of us!!

Do we need a law to make this true? No! It is just true. Since acting on your love is THAT true, THAT basic, you’re completely free to create your life. Remember that the universal law of attraction wants you to flourish, but ensures that whatever you focus on expands.

What do you want? What are your core desires?

• Love?
• Health?
• Prosperity?
• Understanding?
• Community?
• Happiness?
• Freedom?

Each of these desires is naturally and readily available to you as you turn your attention in that direction and claim it. Consider that there are at least a zillion ways to create your life, love, and family.

Think about it. You are completely free to create your life and love. What’s your pleasure? I revel in knowing that society’s natural progressive movement is advanced each and every time you act on what feels good to you.

Personally, my life is far too enjoyable to seek, or wait for permission, sanction or understanding from others (especially people that I don’t even know!). Can I confess that I can’t identify a single part of my life that would be better if I could legally marry my sweetie?

AND, I hope you always feel free to create and enjoy your life, on your terms!

Thank you! The world is a much better place because you’re here! Enjoy it all!

“It’s easier to have what you want, than what you think you can get.” Michael Neill

Do you ever wonder if your desires are unrealistic? Do you reduce your standards as your body shows its age, your stocks drop, or when true love seems elusive? I know I occasionally forget that I get to have exactly what I want. Michael’s statement above has become my personalized pot of gold lately, inspiring me as I move through my day. Of course I want to share it with you!

Why is it is easier to have exactly what you want than what you think you can get? As you know, the universe matches the energy contained within your beliefs and sends you what you’re expecting to receive. When you focus on what you really want you’ll naturally send out pure energy that is in concert with your true self. Your energy becomes expansive whether you choose to move toward your heart’s desire one step at a time, or in leaps and bounds.

I know you’ve experienced this in your life. You’ve gotten the job, salary, entrance into the school, and/or the date you really wanted. You’ve tapped into the inner knowing and easy flow that comes when you’re aligned with your desires. This is the energy of pure desire.

Conversely, you drag fear with you on your quest when you settle for what you think you can get. Your fear becomes a dominant part of what you’re attracting. You’ve experienced this too when your “just in case” approach to work, love, and or health becomes a self fulfilling prophecy, yes?

Let’s highlight the energetic contrast of these two approaches to life. Take a few minutes with each scenario below, notice what your energy and body feel like.

Begin by thinking about something that you really want. Imagine yourself having it.

Now, suggest to yourself that you’re being unrealistic, and adjust your desires accordingly.

What’s your level of enthusiasm with each choice? What’s your body’s response to each option?

Which energy do you want to be sending out to the universe?

How would your life be different if you approached life with this energy?

I’ve found that the easiest way for me to normalize this approach in my life is by simply repeating this phrase throughout the day:

“It is easier for me to have what I want, than what I think I can get” “What do I want?”

I find my life naturally and effortlessly adjusts toward what I really want. It’s amazing! Try it and let me know how your life evolves!

I think I slid a bit into the “life is serious” myth with out knowing it. There is A LOT of that going around, yes? Clearly, this is a perfect time to get my feel good groove rolling again by diving into my favorite topic. Yes, it’s time to chat about crushes!

Are you wondering if it is prudent to take a break from all the significant events going on to chat about crushes? Please, only take a break from the rest of your life if thinking about a crush puts a smile on your face. That’s right! Crushes are the perfect remedy for anything that puts a frown on your face because they are a direct channel to love. And love, as you know, IS the ultimate power tool (more on that in a couple days).

Seriously, crushes matter because they:

• allow you to tap into what you like, and what’s possible in your life.
• perk up your attention, stir up feelings, and get your blood pumping (and you don’t even have to lift a finger!).
• open your heart.
• are fun, free, and tap your internal innocence.
• are a perfect antidote to stress.
• are enough, in and of themselves. As my pal Amy put it recently, “I love crushes because there is no analysis. They just are.”

Look, when you’re feeling this good, you automatically tell the universe that “I want more of this please!” And, regardless of what is happening anywhere else, the universe will match the energy you express. You’ll tap into your own feel good groove, and who knows what will happen then!

You know what else is great about crushes? You can have them on anyone, and anytime. All that matters is the feeling. Sure, I always have crushes on several people at any moment in time. Right now, my crush short list includes (but is certainly not limited to):

• Jeannette Maw’s Dad, who I’ve only met through Jeannette’s writing about him.
• the cutie dyke server at Ghini’s restaurant in Tucson.
• ¼ of all the WNBA players, and at least ½ the NCAA women college basketball coaches.
• most every lesbian, and gay man I meet over the age of 70.
• 1-3 women at every Hot Flash Dance I attend
• Rachel Maddow. . .. political discourse has never been this enjoyable!

Yes, of course I have a crush on my sweetie, DB. Besides being absolutely adorable, she always asks me about who or what I fell in love with today. Yes, the woman who captures my heart must understand that I fall in love or crush a zillion times a day. For me, it is just the best way to experience the world.

Oh sure, I haven’t always been able to enjoy my easy way with crushes. I used believe there something was wrong with me or my sweetie when ever I had a crush on someone. Or I’d think I could only have a crush on someone unavailable-like a WNBA player. Then there were times when I thought that I needed to act on my crushes -lest they get away.

Now, I just enjoy my crushes. They are fun and keep me tuned into myself. What a relief it is to enjoy it all.

Ok, are you ready for your turn? Let’s see how much fun we can stir up! Who do you have a crush on? How do crushes give your life a lift? Any good crush stories you want to share?

What if I told you that the answer to ANY of life’s inquiries was found within your reply to the question, “What do I want”?

Yes, I’m suggesting that your desires are the ultimate guide to life - any time, and in any situation. Does this seem radical? Were you taught, like I often was, to think about what others want, what you should want, or that wanting itself, was bad? With so many conflicting messages directed at us, it’s easy to understand why identifying what you really want can feel allusive. Are you curious about how following your desires works in real life?

Here’s how desire and the Law of Attraction work. Your desires are the ultimate guide to your life because, as you follow your unique wants, you allow your true self to fully emerge. AND, contrary to what is commonly taught, you become more generous and loving as you live the life you want to live.

Look, don’t just take my word for it, here’s what a few other experts have to say.

If we were standing in your shoes, that would be our dominant quest: Entertaining Yourself, pleasing Yourself, connecting with Yourself, being Yourself, enjoying Yourself, loving Yourself. Some say, “Well, Abraham you teach selfishness. And we say, yes we do,. . .because unless you are selfish enough to reach for that connection, you don’t have anything to give anyone, anyway. And when you are selfish enough to make that connection — you have an enormous gift that you give everywhere you are.
Excerpted from an Abraham-Hicks workshop in San Antonio, TX, April 21st, 2001

Our dreams carry with them the energy for their achievement;
our fears carry with them the energy of our defeat
Michael Neill Genius Catalyst Inc

My friend, there is no reason to be shy or bashful here! Consider the idea that you’re doing “the right thing” when you clarify and act on what you want. This is what having fidelity to your soul is all about.

How would your life shift if you lived according to what you want- as if it couldn’t be any other way?

How would your relationships shift if you were faithful to your own ever expanding self, and welcomed your love’s fidelity to their soul?

Yes, there are layers and nuances to wanting. For example, I may wish I had a body like Martina Navratilova. Underneath that desire though, I may want women to think I’m hot. And, I may really want women to think I’m hot because I want to be loved.

So, if being loved is my core desire, then I don’t really need a body like Martina’s. I become free to nourish feeling loved (and hot) in the body I have. I can work out or not as THAT feels good to me! BUT, can you appreciate that it was my desire for a body like Martina’s that got me to this level of understanding in the first place?

What do you want? What do you want right now, next month, and 5 years from now?

Or, What’s a Girl to do in Days Like These?

Lately, I’ve been writing about thriving after a break up, feeling the economy shift, and thinking about earthquakes. Of course, I’m thrilled to share a perspective on upheaval that can support and inspire you to continue deliberately creating the life you desire.

From a law of attraction perspective, you are always creating your experience through the energy your thoughts exude. In other words, your external life experience is a reflection of your internal thoughts, feelings and beliefs. This creation process is always occurring, and applies to individuals, our country, and our world.

Additionally, there is constant dynamic exchange between your thoughts and your experiences. Sometimes the dissonance between the life you’ve created and who you’ve become results in an energy build up. A significant shift must occur to realign your life. Thus, break ups, earthquakes, and economic shake ups happen in response to a powerful quest for a new equilibrium.

The releasing of built up energy also creates a prime time to assert what is important to you. Isn’t it easy to notice and express “HEY, I don’t want this, I want ______!!!!!” whenever your status quo is disrupted? Your clear desire for stability, opportunity, love, or whatever, summons the universe with power that is potentially equal to how these events are unfolding in your life.

Briefly, here are three steps to inspire you during these wide open times.

1. Believe in, and clarify your desires.
2. Be willing to ride the wave of certainty-yes, you will have what you want, even when you are uncertain how and when you’ll receive your desires. AND
3. Be willing to take inspired action to spin momentum in your direction.

Note: Actually, taking inspired action on a regular basis is a fabulous way to keep your energy flowing smoothly, and preventing pent of energy and emotion.

And, here are six steps to support your inspired action.

1. Tap into what you really want. Ask yourself, “What’s my vision for my life”?
2. Be willing to face your worst fear, AND realize that it is a fear, and has nothing to do with reality.
3. Stay in the present; focusing on the past and/or the future are fuel for your fears. I often use the phrase, “in this moment, all is well” to access relief that is always available in the present moment.
4. Engage your strengths. What do you like about how you’ve dealt with previous moments of upheaval that you can you apply in today’s situation?
5. Take action when you feel clear and relaxed.
6. Most importantly, surround yourself with love, and find time for fun.

Ok, I’m going to keep saying it; these are still the best of days. And, you, my friend are in a perfect spot to conjure the peace, freedom, opportunity, and love that fuel your dreams.

Flourishing with you always,
Judy

PS. Want more? Join other lesbian, bi and queer women in my four week, Thriving After a Break Up tele-class starting Monday, October 6th or contact me about coaching packages.

Awhile back, I found myself in the middle of a “I think I should be panicking now” moment. I looked at an extremely depleted bank account and was highly skeptical when money was going to start flowing my way. Part of me knew that I was going to be fine; part of me thought a good old fashioned panic would be soothing . . . or responsible, or at least something to do. I also knew that panic wasn’t really going to get me anything more than unwanted stress.

Fortunately, I had a session that afternoon with my coach, Jeannette. After hearing about my predicament, she says “YEAY! This is the BEST part”. Ummm, dear Jeannette, did you hear me?!! As I start to retell my URGENT story, she interrupts me with “Oh my God, Judy, this is the BEST part. Can’t you just feel it?”. I was so stunned I could only listen as she passionately described the deliciousness of not knowing how something will unfold.

She went on a delightful rant about how we routinely go to movies to experience being on the edge of our seat. We love that anticipatory sense that comes with not knowing what’s going to happen. Even when plots are predictable, we still love to see our favorite protagonists in action. We are entertained by the “what’s she going to do NOW?” part of the movie, yes?

What if I adopted an “on the edge of my seat” response to my own life? I looked at my home, family, love, friends, work, city, finances and myself while saying “this is the BEST of times”. Even as I looked directly at what appeared to be imperfections, I came up with a zillion examples to support the idea that I was living in the best of times. My mood shifted immediately. I found my charge, sense of fun, and, curiosity about life. Of course my income stream increased significantly, on cue.

Guess what? You are in is always the best moment of your life.

Especially in what appears to be tender or challenging times, consider the notion that “these are the best of times”. Sure, you might have a host of contrary thoughts fill your mind at first, but, let yourself consider the idea.

THESE are the BEST of times!

Look around. . . .
how would your perspective shift if you adopted this point of view?

Jeannette Maw’s GoodVibe Blog entitled “Drawing the Line on Love” sparked a wonderful forum that explored a range of beliefs related to love and relationships. I encourage you to check it out.

Two quotes, provided by others, especially resonated with me:

“Love isn’t how you feel. It’s what you do.”
Proginoskes the cherubim, in Madeline L’Engle’s A Wind In The Door

“Love is misunderstood to be an emotion;
actually, it is a state of awareness, a way of being
in the world, a way of seeing oneself and others.”
David Hawkins: Internationally renowned psychiatrist, physician, researcher

Wow! Seeing and being with yourself and others from a perspective of love is alignment at its finest. Love really is our most natural state of being. From this point for view, love is a verb, but not necessarily something to work at, or do.

It can get confusing sometimes, yes?

We’re taught that love is something outside of our self. We end up treating love as something that can be lost, found or kept. Taking action from this perspective can be about retrieving and keeping love. It feels tricky, and like a lot of work to me.

Since the universe only knows how to match your energy, being with, or in love is a powerful means to attracting the love and life you desire. More and more, I am centering myself in love and am enjoying life with a new clarity, ease and freshness. I’m calling this my “love spot”. How about you?

How would you approach life if you nurtured the love that naturally exists within yourself first, and then decided how you want to share your love with others?

How would if feel, whether you are single or in a 20 year old relationship, to be smack dab in the middle of love?

Your answer to these two questions tell you what it feels to be in your own personalized love spot. What if love is as simple as nurturing your love spot? It is! This is your sweet spot. Since there is amazing, contagious energy in your love spot, the universe can only give you more and more love.

Hmmmm, I just had this image of women everywhere, hanging out in their love spot!!! Whew, talk about a revolution!

With much love,
Judy

WHEW! We had a great FREE teleseminar last night! Over 30 women from across the country and Canada joined in the call. Seven women submitted questions that covered a wonderful spectrum of life, from politics, to love, to being out and proud.

I was blessed to have three of my favorite Law of Attraction and LGBT fans on the call with me. As promised, here is their contact information.

Jeannette Maw, the Good Vibe Coach, loves all things LOA, as you’ll find on her revealing “LOA for the Real World” blog (www.goodvibeblog.com) and her coaching home page (www.goodvibecoach.com).

Lise Rubarth, is a creative community builder, technodyke and webmaster extraordinaire. She started Triangle Grrrls (http://trianglegrrrls.com) a few years ago and has just launched Social Girlz (http://socialgirlz.com) a new social networking site for lesbians in the San Francisco bay area.

Karen Olson, a professional counselor living in Tucson, AZ, is passionate about helping people create conscious love in their relationships, AND holistic healing. She recently opened a wellness center, Caritas, (www.caritashealing.com).

I’m getting a little technical help and will have the recording available on this web page for all to enjoy.

Let’s stay in touch! Let me know what resonated with you and any subsequent questions that we stirred up.

with much love,

Judy

Are you feeling happy and completely free to have the love, family and relationships you desire?Are you enjoying your unique sense of love, family, gender and sexuality?

Can you imagine feeling this much joy and freedom all the time?

Enjoying the little, and the large liberating parts of your day is an amazing magnetic act. Remember, the Law of Attraction ensures that the universe brings you more of what ever has your focus and attention.

Now, THIS is my kind of law!

This universal law means that a life full of love, fun, freedom, health and fabulous relationships is yours. You begin attracting your desires the moment you enjoy these qualities as they exist in your life today. Relishing what’s going well multiplies very quickly!!

Can you see how each of us living the life we desire creates a mighty liberation movement?!

This isn’t the established path to political freedom, is it? Usually, we are taught that liberty is a struggle. We are most often directed to focus on what we don’t have or who is against us.

Somewhere we learned that we need something/someone outside ourselves, like institutional laws, to sanction our love and families. Believe me; I do want laws to support me.

I believe we liberate ourselves every time we act with love to create our life as if all the laws in the world support us.  Laws always follow people’s lives.  There are a zillion ways, and a zillion people who are promoting a full range of liberated love and family experiences. I want to extend my many thanks to all those LGBTQ and allied people who intentionally  create their life daily.  Is there anything more powerful than love?

Check out this video from Abraham-Hicks if you want more information about how the law of attraction enhances LGBT Rights.

After trying out several approaches to love, dating and relationships, I think I’ve tapped into love, exactly how I want it to be. Wooo Hooo!

Several weeks back I posted an expanded version of Judy Kinney’s Recipe for Oooh Ahhh Love. I want to share the trimmed down version of this recipe with you again. This is the recipe I used to successfully attract the love I’ve desired. This recipe doesn’t care who you love and how long you’ve loved them! Just love away!

Judy Kinney’s OOOH AHHH LOVE: The Basics

ENJOY:

• feeling good, happy, and joyful
• what you want AND what you already have.
• days filled with “I love you”, “thank you”, joy and laughter.
• being relaxed and confident about attracting what you desire to your life.
• the process of meeting and getting to know other women.
• a range of relationships in your life- friends, lovers, day to day partners and any combination of these.

Mix all ingredients together, in any order. Stir when ever the mood feels right. Eat with a spoon, a fork, your hand or pick up the bowl and slurp. Share with others. Above all, ENJOY!!!

I still incorporate these practices and approaches daily. They are as vital now that I’m smack dab in the middle of love as they were when I sought a love connection.

But, I am forever a curious experimenter. I want to know what is possible with love. Can you imagine a relationship which is created and nourished as each person brings a fidelity to their own spirit? WOW! That’s my kind of love! I am currently using this statement by Adyashanti as I lean into and create the love I desire.

it’s having a certain fidelity to what you realize yourself to be. Having a fidelity to that internal silence, and just being willing to be what you are.

At any moment, am I actually an expression of - am I actually being - what I know to be true? It’s another one of those things that sounds very simple, until you might be by yourself, or especially where the spiritual rubber hits the road, which is in relationship — am I actually being what I know myself to be? Am I expressing what’s really true?” — Adyashanti

I look forward to connecting with you and your thoughts about My Recipe for OOOH AHHH Love and/or Adyashanti’s version of fidelity.

One of my goals for this year is to learn to surf. OHHHHH, I can feel myself in that zone where I am simultaneously connected AND free. I imagine myself being centered in my body, like when I do yoga, and carried along with something powerful, as if in the front row in a roller coaster. Whew! This is my kind of heaven!

I’ve surrounded myself with women surfers since making this goal in January. I have a 2008 women’s surfing calendar, a woman surfing as my computer desktop background, and a picture of a woman surfing on my dream board with the words ‘hot damn’ in a bubble coming out of her mouth. Yes! 2008 is the year Judy Kinney learns to surf.

It’s June and I’m well aware that I’ve yet to put any surfing plans in place. Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve had several messages about surfing cross my path. In my June monthly CD, Abraham uses a surfing metaphor to encourage all of us to enjoy the process. Abe notes that the thrill of catching that one great wave is worth all the paddling, waiting, and falling that inevitably comes with surfing.

It was about this time that I realized that I have been surfing this year. Yes, even from my home in the Arizona desert, I’ve caught some sweet, fine waves. Who needs a board and water? I’m still riding a great curl as I welcome a sweet, hot, and fun love into my life. I’ve caught wave after wave of inspiration, support, and fun this past six months with my coaching business start up. I’ve also jumped aboard many a wave with my family as my 90 year old mom ages on her terms.

I’m not saying that the ride has been smooth sailing-that isn’t what I ordered. I want the thrill of feeling ME IN THE ZONE-connected AND free. Since adopting this “life is surfing” metaphor, I am much more relaxed about those aspects of my life that feel like paddling, floating, waiting and falling. These are integral facets to inevitably catching great waves, yes?

So, I wonder . . . who else is making a similar connection between a physical passion and your alignment. Does your passion for riding your bike fast downhill, doing yoga, rock climbing, rafting, dancing, or walking help you understand and tap into your natural alignment?

Meanwhile, surf’s up in Tucson!

As many of you know, I was a social worker for 25+ years before becoming a Law of Attraction Coach. I’ve always worked to create room for others to have the life they desire. A very simplified version of my thinking during my social worker years was: “I make the world better by fighting injustice”.

As I’ve integrated Law of Attraction into my way of looking at the world, the message inside my head has changed. Now I say “I influence the world most effectively just by being true to me.” In other words, I’m a revolutionary’s revolutionary just by naturally living true to my spirit. My spirit, like all spirits, wants me to conjure up my perfect world and then welcome it exactly as I desire. Can you imagine making the world a better place just by enjoying your life?!

So, these days, I LOVE inspiring LBQ women to also have the life they desire. What could be more far reaching than thousands of lesbian, bi and queer women happily living their lives, while emphatically knowing that “all is well”?!!!

So, imagine my delight to view a video that was publicly released today about Law of Attraction and LGBT people’s liberation. Check out the powerful new video of Abraham-Hicks speaking about the Law of Attraction and LGBTQ liberation.

Damn! It’s about time!

What are your thoughts and reactions?

THIS is exactly the conversations I can’t wait to have with you! Talk to me here, by email, in my classes or in 1:1 coaching.

Flourish on!

Judy

In the spirit of summer picnics, fun and love, I’ve developed my own little recipe for OOOOH AHHHHH Love. Like any good recipe, try it out, enjoy it often and feel free to make adjustments. This recipe doesn’t care who you love and how long you’ve been loving them! Just love away!

Judy Kinney’s Recipe for OOOOH AHHHHH Love

ENJOY:
feeling good, happy, and joyful
Ah, this ingredient is the foundation for life and for all other ingredients in this recipe. Trust what feels good to you and the other ingredients come to life with such ease.
The Law of Attraction brings you what you vibrate emotionally. Do you want feel good, happy connections with women? I do! Welcome feeling good as your guide for life and love.

what you want AND what you already have.
Heck yeah, life is your own personal candy store. There is no need to pretend you like soy chocolate when Belgium milk chocolate is what really stirs your taste buds. This is true for all aspects of your life, yes?

Being clear about what you like AND thankful for what you have, sends a clear and direct message to the universe. And you know, the universe only knows how to agree with you!

Not sure what you really want? Notice and act on what feels good.

days filled with “I love you”, “thank you”, joy and laughter.
This is my sentimental favorite ingredient. Talk to yourself, your animals, kids, friends, the grocery clerk and say “I love you” and “thank you” a zillion times during the day.
Can you see how these phrases create a fabulously loving energy? WOW, you’ll have the universe zeroing in on you with all sorts of love and kindness!

And laughing? This quote sums it up so well!

I’ve always thought that a big laugh is a really loud noise from the soul saying, “Ain’t that the truth.” ~Quincy Jones

being relaxed and confident about attracting what you desire to your life.
Relaxed and confident about love and dating? Sure! One easy way to step into this idea is to think of a time when you felt truly relaxed and confident. How does this relaxed confidence feel in your body? Now, imagine approaching love and romance with the same feeling. Yep! Just like that!

the process of meeting and getting to know other women.
This ingredient pairs really well with being relaxed and confident. If you know you’re going to have love like you desire, you’re free to enjoy meeting women. You will meet them online, at potlucks, a dance, the dog park or a gathering of friends. Who cares where you meet when you enjoy the process!

a range of relationships in your life- friends, lovers, day to day partners and any combination of these.
Meeting women under the guise of finding “the one” is stressful. And stress is just going to attract more stress, right? Is there a difference in your energy if your goal was to have a full and fabulous range of genuine relationships? Often we start off as one sort of relationship and often end up as another, right?

Last, but not least, enjoy
your life and engage with people who also love their life.
Look around, my friends, you’re smack dab in the middle of the best part! Whether it’s local or long distance friends, books, ezines, or classes, surround yourself with people who will support your dreams and have fabulous dreams of their own.

Ready to dig in?

Mix all ingredients together, in any order. Stir when ever the mood feels right. Eat with a spoon, a fork, your hand or pick up the bowl and slurp. Share with others.

Above all, ENJOY!!!

Ok, my epicurean, foodie, love pals. .. tell me how this recipe for oooh aaah love stirs YOUR taste buds!

Bon appetite!

If you’re a single LBQ woman who is interested in dating, you’re probably familiar with the phrase “friends first”. Oh my gosh, this phrase has aroused my suspicions. I’ve been talking about “friends first” for weeks now. Thanks everyone for chatting with me. I’ve relaxed a lot, broadened my perspective and clarified my beliefs and desires.

Still, I wonder how often a belief that “if I get it right this time, I’ll avoid the pain I’ve experienced in the past” is underneath “friends first” and many of our challenges with dating.

Whew, talk about walking a tight rope! How would you approach love and romance if you were free of the pressure to “get it right to avoid pain”?

Martha Beck has brought therapist and researcher Steven Hayes’ idea of “clean pain and dirty pain” to the masses through her coaching, new book “Steering by Starlight” and articles in Oprah Magazine. Clean pain is our natural response to something hurtful.

Of course you experience a range of grief, sadness, anger, and frustration if you are in a car wreck, experience a friend’s death, or break up with your girlfriend. Following your natural built in healing process would, in time, take you to a place of peace and resolution. We are designed to heal.

Dirty pain happens when your mind explains a hurtful experience via some other belief you hold. For example, dirty pain thoughts about the car wreck could lead you to think “everything bad always happens to me”, “those people don’t know how to drive” or “if I had a newer, faster car this never would have happened”. Fear and avoidance are central to dirty pain. Dirty pain keeps kicking far beyond the initial hurtful incident. OUCH!

Can you see how dirty pain could be polluting your approach to love and romance?

How do you know if your pathway to romance and love is clear or muddied?

• Do you feel free?
• Are you having fun and enjoying the journey?
• Do you feel genuine, relaxed and confident?

Yes, feeling good is your guide to having what you desire. I imagine that there are aspects of love and romance where you’re feeling good and relaxed, yes? These feel good spots become the perfect launching pad for more liberated love and romance.

Flourish on,
Judy