I want you to consider the merits of a self-centered life.

I’ve been thinking about the qualities of being self-centered, selfless, and selfish.  Many of the articles I’ve explored present being selfless as virtuous trait, while self-centered and selfish were often used interchangeably, and not honorably.  These definitions didn’t ring true to me, or my understanding of how the universe works.

Instead, I developed the following definitions to reflect my frame of reference on the topic:

Self-centered: an awareness and nurturing of personal values, beliefs and desires;  the willingness to act in alignment with your ever evolving values, beliefs, and desires; a naturally powerful, loving and generous state of heart and mind.

Selfish: an effort to get others to meet, or affirm your personal values, beliefs and desires.

Selfless:disengaging from your personal values, beliefs and desires by adopting those of others.

Can you see why I want you to reconsider these three qualities? I believe the whole reason we’re here on earth is to align with our ever evolving values, beliefs, and desires.

There are four aspects of a self-centered life that caught my attention today.

First, as counter intuitive as it may be, being centered in yourself is the source spring for generous living. Yes, to the degree that you, or I live true to our spirit, is the degree to which we are powerful, loving and generous!  I’m sure you’ve experienced being generous after you’ve had a vacation, day at the spa, or a super loving experience, yes? 

Second, tapping into your inner guidance system allows you to effectively flow in, and out of an intimate connection with others or solitude.  Grounding yourself in what matters to you, is the foundation for living a free AND committed life.  Have you experienced negotiating with a partner so that both of you get your needs met?  That’s an easy day to day example of how a mutually self-centered relationship can work.

Thirdly, we are constantly evolving and expanding. Some of the things that really matter to you today, will not matter to you ten years from now. Allow yourself to understand that what ever you are creating today- at work, in your relationships, or in your home is alive and organic.  Trusting your intuition and what feels good in your body is key to being centered in yourself.

Finally, being self-centered is naturally contagious.  Living true to you, in and of itself, is a permission giving act to all others in your life. You don’t have to convince anyone to live a self-centered life.  All you need to do is live true to you.  How freeing is that?!

This is just the beginning of a conversation I hope to have with you.  Sure, there are a few details for each of us to sort out and enjoy. But, let’s get started!

So, tell me, how would your day, relationships, health or work be the same or different, if you adopted a fully self-centered life?